Monday, July 30, 2012

Come...Play...With Me!

Happy Monday! I thought it would be fun to start off the week with a game. Well, since You Might Be A Pervert If... is one of my favorites, it was my obvious choice.

Before you read this, keep in mind that I had way too much fun playing You Might Be a Pervert If...with my friend, Tina. What had started out as a casual discussion about my next blog exploded, and we spent a couple of hours on the phone. Yes, we giggled a lot. And I might have choked on my drink—once or twice. Thank goodness, it was just a Coca-Cola.

Hmm…wonder what this game would have been like if it had been something with a little kick. Maybe next time I will play the liquored up version. That has possibilities…scary ones.  :)

Okay, okay. Let’s get down to it. Here we go:

You Might Be A Pervert If…

  • You go into a used book store and get a cheap thrill when you see that they have a copy of the notorious BDSM study guide, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns…even though you already have a copy of your own. (A copy that you paid a lot more for—I might add.)
  • You wind up at the wrong store because you naturally assumed that your shopping partner meant the toy store that sells dildos rather than the one that sells baby dolls. (Hey, it’s an honest mistake!)
  • You go into that adult shop and ask the clerk more than twenty-five questions.  (I was just curious. I promise. Seriously, who else could I ask?)
  • You manage to stump the clerk with three or more of those same questions. (Okay, I might have gotten a little overzealous with my line of questioning.)
  • You know the layout of the adult shop you’re visiting without looking around. If you can maneuver through the store blindfolded….well, you’re extra pervalicious!
  • You go into the adult shop…just to talk to the clerk. (In my defense, sometimes a girl just needs to talk to her favorite salesperson.)
  • You buy music for the striptease and sex factor instead of the actual musical quality. (Can we say,  The PCD, Nelly Furtado, Britney Spears, Missy Elliott, and Ginuwine?)

Damn, I got a little happy with the music. Such a shock, I know. I can hear your gasps around the world. So...anyway...Is it me or does anyone else feel the desperate need to dance? 

Ughh...wait. I didn't say that aloud? Did I? Surely not. Or, at least, I hope not. Me and dancing? Yikes! I would never do that in public. Umm...Let's get back to the game. Yep, that's what we should do.

Let's see...where was I? Oh yes, that last song leads me right back into the game.

  • You drive past a Farm and Home or a Farmer’s Co-op and have to stop because you think, “Oh! I need a new riding crop.”
  • You know what aisle the condoms are on at the grocery store—by memory
  • You have and/or use a coupon for Magnum Ice Cream—despite the fact that you don’t particularly like the Belgian chocolate covered ice-cream bars. You just want to eat them because they remind you of condoms and well-endowed men.

  • You see that the following item is on sale. But you can only think of the naughty things to do with it…not how good it will taste on your pie.

  • You stand in the grocery aisles and take pictures of seemingly innocent items with plans to pervert them...or post them in your blog while playing You Might Be a Pervert If...
  • You buy popcorn at the grocery store—just to watch with porn. (Mmm…butter!)
  • You enjoy when your purchases ring up to exactly $69.
  • You go by the massage section in Target or Walmart and giggle.
  • You walk through the curtain section of any store and think of bondage when you see the tie-backs.
  • You ask your significant other to crack a wooden spoon against your ass cheek to check for sturdiness while in the middle of a busy store.
  • You go into a furniture store and do one or more of the following things:
    1. Spot a couch and think to yourself, “Hey! I saw that one in an adult movie.” If you buy it…well, hey…more perverted power to you!
    2. You have to ask, “How strong are those posts?” before you purchase a bed.
    3. You bend over a table and ask your significant other, “Is this the right height?”
    4. You straddle your significant other to check for comfort and height of a kitchen chair. about you? How many of these have you done? Or, even better, how many of them will you do now that you've read this blog? I hope you'll try them all! 

Have a great week everyone! I know I will. It Takes Three to Fly (Sweet Serenity #3) releases this Friday, and I am so excited that I can barely stand myself. :)

Love and cherries,

"We need you, kitten. For us, it takes three to fly." -Landon Tolliver, It Takes Three to Fly

1 comment:

  1. I never said I did any of these things. I just gave suggestions :)