Who knew I could pervert Dollywood? Oh wait. I did. That's why I brought along a camera on my trip to the Smoky Mountain theme park yesterday. And boy am I glad I did. After only half an hour there, I had a whole load of naughtiness caught on camera. So since today is my Monday Madness, I thought I would share them with you!
Just imagine it...
Me and the hubby walking by the Backstage Restaurant. I'm snapping pictures when he whispers into my ear, "At least it's not called the Backdoor Restaurant." I turn to him and laugh (far too loudly for polite company) then ask, "Wonder if they serve tossed salads?" He answers drolly, "It is a pizza buffet."
~ ~ ~
Costner & Sons Magic Shop...Where Fun Comes in All Kinds of Packages
Ball & Vase
A ball magically vanishes then re-appears.
Two words: Butt plug.
(It's even ribbed for her pleasure.)
Only the magician is able to hook and unhook this magic rubber band.
Fun and easy to do.
Yeah, it's easy alright. Too easy. I like it hard.
This mind-blowing color change is available in black or clear hot rods.
I don't know about y'all. But I like hot rods...and I cannot lie. (sings a la Sir Mix-a-Lot)
(You know me, I can't resist a funny song)
Cuff me, Mr. Magician Sir. I've been a bad, bad girl. Then you can show me that disappearing trick. *wiggles eyebrows* You inside me.
Chinese Locking Rings
Who needs lions, tigers, and bears?
(Other than the shifters in a steamy paranormal menage)
In this Magic Shop, they can have rings, ropes, and canes, oh my!
It's a Dom's delight.
~ ~ ~
After leaving Costner & Sons, we went to play my favorite game, Top Blow. Oops, that was supposed to be Top Glow. Now, keep in mind, my family calls this the 'squirting booth.' Seriously, I don't know who thought of this game, but I think they win an award for naughtiness. Really, a game where the way to win is squirt water into someone/something's mouth until they're full and set off the alarms? Pure genius.
But yesterday's prize takes the cake!
A green beaver.
Are you kidding me? A green flipping beaver in the 'squirting booth'? I nearly split my side laughing over this one.
~ ~ ~
As you can see, I cannot go anywhere without perverting something. Take me to a theme park like this...
And inevitably, I will find this...
...along with more dirty comments than a girl could know what to do with!