Monday, September 30, 2013

Mia's Monday Madness: You Can't Take Me Anywhere!

When people say I can't take you anywhere, they're usually joking around. But in my case, those five words couldn't be any truer. And I know it. I accept it. Most of my friends and family have learned to accept it, too. They all know that taking me somewhere means trouble with a capital T. I'm just not a well-behaved girl. And I don't try to be. 

Now keep in mind, I don't do crazy stuff. I don't chase cars like a rabid dog or shoot my mouth off willy-nilly and end up in a giant brawl. I don't have sex in front of the Walmart exhibition-style. And no, I've never done anything illegal. I'm boring in those ways. But, and this is a big but, what I lack in scandalous behavior, unlawful actions, and mental instability, I make up for in other ways.

How, you ask? Well, I make naughty comments about whatever catches my fancy. Seriously, I can't walk more than a few steps without something lewd, crude, or perverse popping in my head. And generally, when I'm with my husband or close friends, I don't waste my energy with a filter. I just lay it out there and hope for the best. Of course, they're used to me so they don't bat an eyelash. And some of them even counter my naughtiness with more naughtiness. Honestly, my hubby beats me hand down. If I say something, he always has an answer, and he never fails to give the wickedness back to me tenfold. After that, there's no stopping us.

But that's just the beginning...

*I tell wicked jokes and pervert everything I see. And yes, I mean everything. 

*Then there's the fact that I have been known to walk around taking pictures of all sorts of naughty things in the most innocent of places. Let me tell you, I drew some very strange looks the last time I visited Lowe's. And I'm sure you know what that means. Picture, time!

 

 
 
 



*And I should never leave out my history of stopping dead in my tracks and giggling uncontrollably for no apparent reason. 

See, neither Dick nor Jane or Joe thought a thing about this...


 But me? I was dying! It literally took every ounce of my control to not fall on the floor and laugh my ass off. Before you ask, yes, I am that easy. ;)

Now, don't get me wrong. I do have the ability to control myself - on occasion. But I figure, why should I? Life is for living. And madness is for enjoying. All the rest is icing on the cake. 

Hope y'all have a nice start to your week. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,
-Mia

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Song Lyric Saturday


Today's blog is all my husband's fault. So if you feel the need to punish someone for the next few wasted minutes of your life, he's your man. See, it all started the night we got our new bed (bet you didn't see that one coming). We were crawling onto the mattress when I thought to myself, "Hmm..I'm in the mood to watch a movie." Of course, I knew that we wouldn't be able to watch all of it because it was late, but I figured we could catch a few minutes before falling into a peaceful slumber. So, me being me, I pulled up Netflix, which I happen to love, and scrolled through my instant queue. Immediately I found Clueless and 13 Going on 30. Yes, I do watch them both that often. Shameful, I know. But ah well, they're guilty pleasures. 

Predictably, I debated between the two 'oldie but goodie' movies and eventually decided on Clueless. When I started the movie, my husband looks at me and says, "That movie is horrible. I don't know why we like it so much." I am slightly offended by his statement. Though, deep down, I see what he means. Although,  I'm not going to admit that to him because I'm a stubborn gal. So instead of agreeing, I mumble under my breath and turn my attention to the movie.

Little does my husband know... 

While I'm watching, I'm working on a mental list of why I love this movie and why he does, too. Not surprisingly, my list is shorter than I like to have when I approach my engineer husband. I learned long ago that a smart man's wife should never approach him for a debate without some factual backup. That would be like a doctor going into the OR without a scalpel (or any other medical instruments, equipment, and staff)! 

Well, since I'm struggling with reasons to dole out, I realize that the best way to win him over is...drumroll please...MUSIC! Yes, my dear hubby is a music man. He's practically a connoisseur. So what  better way to win him over than to say, "The soundtrack is fucking awesome—for that time period." Keep in mind, the soundtrack's music is probably not enough of a justification for him. But it is a start. Ergo, I have pulled up the Clueless soundtrack, its cover art, music links, and song lyrics. So guess what! That means it's your lucky day. I'm going to share with you what I found and see if you're on my side. If you are, I guess I'll have a nice, long discussion with the hubby. If not, well...I'm screwed. Not in a good way, either. But then again, maybe, I'll just drop the topic entirely and leave him wondering for years to come what he sees in Clueless. :)

XOXOXO,
-Mia


Clueless Song List

Kids in America by The Muffs
Shake Some Action by Cracker
The Ghost In You (Live) by The Counting Crows
Here (Squirrel Mix) by Luscious Jackson
All The Young Dudes by World Party
Change by The Lightning Seeds
Need You Around by Smoking Popes
Mullet Head by Beastie Boys
Where'd You Go? by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Alright by Supergrass
My Forgotten Favorite by Velocity Girl
Supermodel by Jill Sobule


Clueless Lyric List

Kids in America by The Muffs
Shake Some Action by Cracker
The Ghost In You (Live) by The Counting Crows
Here (Squirrel Mix) by Luscious Jackson
All The Young Dudes by World Party
Change by The Lightning Seeds
Need You Around by Smoking Popes
Mullet Head by Beastie Boys
Where'd You Go? by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Alright by Supergrass
My Forgotten Favorite by Velocity Girl
Supermodel by Jill Sobule

Friday, September 27, 2013

Foodie Friday

I love Italian food. Love, love, love it. So today, on this edition of Foodie Friday, I'm bringing out one of my favorite dishes...Chicken Parmesan. Enjoy!

Like my male heroes, I love my chicken parmesan BIG.

And every once and a while, I love it SMALL (Yes, size doesn't always matter.)

I love eating a LOT.

And I love nibbling a LITTLE.
 
I love when it's WET.

And on rare occasions, I love when its DRY.


But most of all, I love it OOEY and GOOEY. That's my kind of foodgasm!


RECIPE



PREPARATION


BASIC TOMATO SAUCE

  • Heat olive oil in large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onions and garlic; sauté until onions are soft and golden, about 10 minutes. Add carrots and thyme; sauté until carrots are soft, about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes with juice; bring to boil, coarsely crushing tomatoes with potato masher or fork. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer until sauce thickens and is reduced to generous 5 cups, about 1 hour. Season sauce to taste with salt and pepper. DO AHEAD Sauce can be made 1 day ahead. Cool slightly. Chill uncovered until cold, then cover and keep refrigerated. Rewarm sauce before using.

CHICKEN

  • Place chicken breast halves between 2 sheets of plastic wrap. Using meat mallet or rolling pin, pound chicken breasts to 1/3-inch thickness. Sprinkle both sides of chicken with salt and pepper. Spread breadcrumbs on plate. Whisk eggs to blend in medium bowl. Spread flour on another plate. Coat both sides of chicken with flour, then eggs, then breadcrumbs.
  • Preheat oven to 350°F. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Working in batches, add chicken to skillet and cook until brown, about 2 minutes per side, adding more oil as needed (chicken will not be cooked through). Transfer chicken to platter. Spread 1 cup sauce over bottom of 15x10x2-inch glass baking dish. Arrange 1 layer of chicken over sauce. Spoon 2 cups sauce over. Sprinkle half of mozzarella, Parmesan, and Pecorino over. Repeat with remaining chicken, sauce, mozzarella, Parmesan, and Pecorino. Bake until cheeses melt and chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley and marjoram and serve.
  • *Available in 1/3 -ounce, 1-ounce, and 8-ounce balls at many supermarkets and at specialty foods stores and Italian markets. Regular mozzarella can be substituted.


    Bon appétit!
    -Mia

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Thursday's Thoughts

Empowerment
Acceptance
Beauty
and
Grace...

Marilyn Monroe





  






Live for today, not tomorrow or the next day or the one after that. Laugh as much and as often as you can, even when you want nothing more than to cry. And love who you are because you are beautiful and wonderful, kind and smart. But most of all, love who you are because you are you. Let everything else work itself out. Happy Thursday!

XOXOXO,
-Mia

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wednesday's Word of Wickedness


If you are easily offended by profanity (especially the "C" word), it is best to stop here. If not, please continue on...



Today's Word of the Day rhymes with hunt, blunt, grunt, shunt, and front. But it's hardly that mundane. And it's definitely not that clean. No. Today's Word of the Day is Cunt! 

Cunt: (usually obscene) the female genital organs.
(courtesy of Merriam Webster)


Now, because I'm twisted little me, I didn't want to stop with a boring ol' definition of cunt. I wanted to play with it. So after some searching, I found a variety of words that are special (and I use that word loosely) versions of cunt. And still, a few measly words wasn't enough. I wanted more. So I came up with the idea to use the words in sentences. And that lead to short paragraphs. But finally, I got these:

Oh my God! We have to get out of here! My cunt alarm is going off. That means Becky is coming. And when Becky comes, someone catches her cuntiness. She is just that cuntageous. Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve heard or not but being cuntaminated by her leads to cuntitis. And cuntitis is a complete cuntstrosity. Or so I’ve been told, it is.

Cuntstrosity: Something horrible, so horribly even a cunt wouldn’t approve.
Cuntageous: A cunt who is so vile she infects anyone who comes within 69 feet of her.
Cuntitis: What a person catches when they rub up on a cunt.
Cuntamination: What happens when a person gets too close to a cunt.

AND

Hmmm... Wonder what it would be like to be cuntalicious. Would it be cuntacular or cuntrocious?  Would I rate low on the cunt-o-meter? Or would I be off the Richter Scale in my cuntage? And what about my cuntattitude? Would I be a cuntagonist or an ally to the cunts of the world? And where would I live—a hole in the wall in Cuntdom?

Cuntalicious: A cunt whose cuntiness makes her sexually attractive to others.
Cuntacular: A cunt who is filled with so much cuntiness she’s considered spectacular.
Cuntrocious: So dreadful and abominable that even an enemy wouldn’t wish it upon a cunt.
Cunt-o-meter: Another level at which cunts are measured by.
Cuntage: One level at which cunts are measured by.
Cuntattitude: The way—positive or negative—a cunt acts in public and/or behind closed doors.
Cuntagonist: A cunt who gets off on stirring up trouble and creating drama whenever and wherever she can.
Cuntdom: The Kingdom of the Cunts—where all the cunts live.

Hope you enjoyed my endeavor into the word cunt. Check back next week for another wicked word!

Love and cherries,
-Mia

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tease-Tastic Tuesday

Happy Tease-tastic Tuesday! Here's a short, unedited snippet from my current work in progress, Pacts and Promises, which is the first book in my newest series, The Shifters of Trinity.


* * * *
Henry Atwater watched his mate disappear into the café without looking back. His inner wolf snarled, demanding he go after her. But Henry was strong, and he willed his wolf to calm down.
“What was that?” Kory asked, his expression puzzled and his voice confused.
Ace didn’t answer Kory. Instead, he barked a question of his own, “What’re you two doing here?”
Henry’s hackles rose. Ace might be his future alpha, but he wasn’t alpha yet. “What are you doing here?”
Ace’s dark eyebrows shot up. “I brought Kent to meet his daughter.”
“Daughter?” Kory frowned. “I thought he only had two daughters.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t know about MacKenzie,” Ace replied. “Her mother left before he found out.”
“He should have known,” Kory snapped, his irritation evident, as he began to pace. “Everyone in Trinity has three kids. Seeing that his first wife died before having her third, he should have suspected something fishy.”
Ace’s already severe face darkened. “Kent didn’t know.” He growled defensively. “He wouldn’t have ever allowed his child to be raised away from the pack. He wouldn’t have permitted her being shielded from our world and our people. It endangers her to be clueless. And you know, he would never, ever endanger one of his own. So don’t fucking disrespect him, Korrigan.”
Kory’s face mottled. “Do you always have to be the alpha’s pet or does it just get you off?”
Ace gave a long, hard snort. “You’re just jealous, asshole. Someone likes me better than you.”
“He’s the only one,” Kory spat with venom.
“Whoa!” Henry jumped in before the two boneheads started bickering and inevitably brawling—like they always did. Imbeciles. “That’s Kent’s daughter?” His head spun with possibilities, some good and some pretty damn bad. “With his human mate?” Henry wasn’t normally one to pry. But this was his mate, and he wanted to know what the hell was going on.
Scowling, Ace nodded. “Yes. That’s his and Mirabella’s daughter, their nineteen year old daughter. Not that it pertains to you.”
Ace’s possessiveness ticked Henry off, and he snapped, “It pertains to me more than you, asshole.”
Ace’s face went ice cold. “I doubt that.”
Henry didn’t back down. He didn’t even bat an eye. “She’s my mate, Ace. Not yours.”
Kory rounded on Henry, growling. “What the ever loving fuck, Henry? She’s mine.”
Oh. Hell. No.
“No,” Ace ground out. “She’s mine.”
Fuck. Surely, the gods hadn’t given the three of them a mate to share. They didn’t get along on their best day. How could they ever share a woman? 

* * * *
I hope y'all enjoyed a sneak peek into the story of Mackenzie Blackburn, Ace Gallagher, Henry Atwater, and Kory Sherwood. Check back next week for more! XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,
-Mia

Monday, September 23, 2013

Super-Secret, Highly Classified Secrets...On Mia's Monday Madness



Happy Monday, all! As many of you know, I've been teasing about my 'Super-Secret, Highly-Classified' WIP for a couple of weeks now. Well, I guess it's time to finally come clean. So here it is: 

I, Mia Ashlinn, have started yet another series! 
(Let the gasps commence)

I know, I know. I said I wouldn't be adding another series to my ménage-tastic corner of Kansas any time soon. But I was wrong, so very, very wrong. This story (tentatively titled Pacts and Promises) has been in my head, and it seemed to fit in—in every way—with the other three series. 

How? Well, again, I am contradicting what I have said many times before. What have I said, you ask? Well, lots of things. In this case, though, I'm referring to Trinity, Kansas. 

Trinity? Who? What? When? Where? Huh?!?

(Don't strain your eyes too much. Trinity hasn't been added to this map just yet.)

Let me back up for just a second.

I have casually mentioned a big town named Trinity that lay directly in the middle of the Luscious, Serenity, and Kinky triangle in several books. Because of my references, questions have popped up about whether or not I would use it as a series. Initially, I said, "No." 

Why? Because at the time, I had no plans to go there. But as you all know, things change.

So.... 

Are you confused? I know I was when I initially embarked on this project. I even called my personal assistant slash beta, Tina, and told her I thought I was losing my mind. I was like, "I have this crazy idea, and it's completely, totally, and utterly insane. But I like it. I want to do it. What do you think? Do I need to check in to the looney bin?" Of course, she said that I needed to check in the looney bin, but that insanity had nothing to do with my idea. LOL. She actually assured me that I should follow the path the characters were taking me on, especially if I felt that passionate about it. And I did feel that passionately. Trinity was where I wanted to go. It was where I needed to go. But most of all, it was where I was meant to go. Or at least, that's what the characters keep telling me. 

Now, here I amin a place I never expected to be—with four interconnected series, one of which has a huge whopper of a secret. And yes, before you ask, the paranormal ménage-esque world in Trinity is a secret. But that's all I'm going to tell you about The Shifters of Trinity series and the people in it. Dum-dum-dum. For now.

After all, I'd hate to have to kill you...


Love and cherries,
-Mia


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Sunday's Sexy Secret and Sultry Snippet



SEX TIP: Surprise him! Be in your sexiest underwear when he comes home from work. Let him take off his coat and put his briefcase down. Then attack him.

* * * *



I hear the doorknob turn from in the kitchen. I want to run to the front door, to confront him and jump his sexy bones. But I don't. I wait, not so patiently, for him to come to me. And boy is it hard. Hopefully, it won't be the only thing hard, I think to myself. But still, nerves plague me.

My heart pounds, threatening to jump out of my chest, as his footsteps echo down the hallway. My breath hitches when I hear him murmur, "Honey, I'm home."

I turn to him, wearing my sultriest smile and not much else, and say, "Honey, I'm horny."

His eyes widen as he takes in the cherry red bra and matching  panties I'd covered my girlie bits in. His  jaw drops and he whispers, "Have mercy."

"There'll be no mercy for you tonight," I reply in my sex voice, the one that he loves so much. I don't wait, not another second. I saunter across my kitchen, swaying my hips with as much flair as my inner sex goddess can summon, then I brush up against him. He moans, his body shuddering. His response doesn't stop me. It only empowers me.

Boldly, I lift up. Pressing my body close, I take his lips. He moans again. I feel my own shudder working its way through my body as I slant my head, delving my tongue between his lips. The kiss, oh God, it's hot, fiery. Our mouths, they're rapacious and ravenous, our hands out of control. He's touching meeverywhere yet nowhere near where I want him. I writhe, groaning deep in my throat, when he cups my ass. His lips quirk against mine and mine against his. He kneads my flesh, moulding it and massaging it. Then he glides his hands upward, along my bare spine, in a torturous journey. I shiver. Though, I'm not cold. Not even in the slightest.

"Do you like that?" he murmurs when he pulls back. His blue eyes staring into mine, piercing me, he grins ."Or do you like this?" No sooner than the naughty words are out, he unclasps my bra. The feel of the soft fabric loosening sends a pang of lust to my core. My pussy clenching, I sigh. 

"Personally, I like this," he goes on, not missing a beat, before reaching down and ripping the back of my panties. Air hits my ass. Delicious goosebumps race over my flesh, starting at my bottom then spreading outward. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. But the devil isn't having that. He hauls his hand back then lets it fly. The sound of his hand cracking against my flesh is too much. I need him. I want him. So I fucking take him.



* * * *

Hmm...I guess I'll be trying this one soon. I hope you will, too! 

Love and kisses,
-Mia

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Silly Saturday

Childish and Cheesy Pick-Up Lines



"Is your body from McDonald's? Because I'm lovin' it!"

"Are you Willy Wonka's daughter? 'Cuz you look sweet and delicious."

"Baby, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock."

"Are you a magician? Because Abra-ca-dayum!"

"My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to."

"You be the Dairy Queen, and I'll be your Burger King. You treat me right, and I'll do it your way."


Love and cherries,
-Mia

Friday, September 20, 2013

Foodie Friday



With today being my 30th birthday, I thought the perfect piece of food porn would be a slice of ooey, gooey chocolate cake. Mmmm, yummy goodness! But hey, why stop at one?











Much love, lots of cherries, and oodles of cake slices,
-Mia

Thursday, September 19, 2013