Monday, September 30, 2013

Mia's Monday Madness: You Can't Take Me Anywhere!

When people say I can't take you anywhere, they're usually joking around. But in my case, those five words couldn't be any truer. And I know it. I accept it. Most of my friends and family have learned to accept it, too. They all know that taking me somewhere means trouble with a capital T. I'm just not a well-behaved girl. And I don't try to be. 

Now keep in mind, I don't do crazy stuff. I don't chase cars like a rabid dog or shoot my mouth off willy-nilly and end up in a giant brawl. I don't have sex in front of the Walmart exhibition-style. And no, I've never done anything illegal. I'm boring in those ways. But, and this is a big but, what I lack in scandalous behavior, unlawful actions, and mental instability, I make up for in other ways.

How, you ask? Well, I make naughty comments about whatever catches my fancy. Seriously, I can't walk more than a few steps without something lewd, crude, or perverse popping in my head. And generally, when I'm with my husband or close friends, I don't waste my energy with a filter. I just lay it out there and hope for the best. Of course, they're used to me so they don't bat an eyelash. And some of them even counter my naughtiness with more naughtiness. Honestly, my hubby beats me hand down. If I say something, he always has an answer, and he never fails to give the wickedness back to me tenfold. After that, there's no stopping us.

But that's just the beginning...

*I tell wicked jokes and pervert everything I see. And yes, I mean everything. 

*Then there's the fact that I have been known to walk around taking pictures of all sorts of naughty things in the most innocent of places. Let me tell you, I drew some very strange looks the last time I visited Lowe's. And I'm sure you know what that means. Picture, time!



*And I should never leave out my history of stopping dead in my tracks and giggling uncontrollably for no apparent reason. 

See, neither Dick nor Jane or Joe thought a thing about this...

 But me? I was dying! It literally took every ounce of my control to not fall on the floor and laugh my ass off. Before you ask, yes, I am that easy. ;)

Now, don't get me wrong. I do have the ability to control myself - on occasion. But I figure, why should I? Life is for living. And madness is for enjoying. All the rest is icing on the cake. 

Hope y'all have a nice start to your week. XOXOXO!

Love and cherries,

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